This past weekend I had the opportunity to sit in a Temazcal (a sweat lodge to purify the mind and body, release toxins, shed which doesn’t serve me and be reborn), sweat profusely and meditate with some incredible friends. Afterwards I was able to bath and refresh my body in the cool Diamante River.

The night before, my grandfather transitioned from his human form into the heavens. I was so blessed to meet all my grandparents and now that the last one has passed on, I again witness the emotions that arise when someone close is physically gone. I know I honor my relations by following my dreams (my grandpa loved sports and watching me perform in them), working hard (I worked at our family’s Hardware Store he started), loving my family and doing what makes my heart shine. I’m so grateful for all the special memories shared with my grandparents. While I run I can feel them cheering and I thank them for guiding me, their wisdom and love.

I’ve been running a lot lately, training for the The Coastal Challenge race, where I again get to give my best doing what I love. Every day I run here in the jungle of Costa Rica and I sweat immensely.

Like running, in the womb of the Temazcal the purification brought forth beautiful realizations and remembering. Why I run? I run to purify, to cleanse my mind, body and heart, to bath in the waters of life. I sweat and clear out the past, remaining present in the here and now. Through the route I continue to sweat, remember and give thanks for all the learning and growing; through the process I am opened, illuminated, cleaned and transparent, to be a beacon of hope, to shine for myself, for family, for all. Remaining here in my place, my heart, letting love guide the way.

I enjoyed running as a kid, pure, free, through cornfields of Wisconsin. After high school, I went into a dark place, I felt lost, alone, unsatisfied, perpetually depressed, fruitlessly clinging to substances to control or sedate my life situations, addicted to the escape of it all, non of it would satisfy. I almost lost my life, suicidal thoughts and actions rose to the surface, I felt insane, I thought I wasn’t worthy of this beauty, of love, that I could never be enough.

Through the most grotesque, outrageous and unbearable challenges of life I learned to truly feel, to heal and integrate, not to judge, shame and cower. In some of my darkest hours, I’ve felt the touch of such immense grace all I can do is drop to my knees and pray, “thank you, thank you, thank you.” I feel everything, overwhelmed at times; anger, sadness, frustration flood my eyes, then grace is revealed, so simple, so freeing, the rains of benevolence come pouring in and I am clean, I am rejuvenated, I am restored, to glow, to shine, to learn and grow. To experience it all.

Realize, all the beauty in the world, is in you. Feel it, know it, show it. Shine.

Much love world.